document.writeln(''); document.writeln('
'); document.writeln(''); document.writeln('10th october 08
Its been a while and I may be a bit rusty doing this but Im sure you will enjoy this one.
It starts with me making a slight mistake

well nearly The minibus picked all of us up apart from McInnes, when I then realise I left my passport on top of my fire in the house. So wee Smudger sets back to my house to retain the passport and off to Villareal we go.Pancho Holly Owen Stix and Tracy, Mcinnes and me.
We had an uneventful flight to London apart from Holly holding the Kitty and buying Twix\'s and kitkats on the flight down .fuck me that could have bought a bottle of vodka in duty free.
We left Stix in Glasgow to go the cheap route as usual. On Arrival in Stansted (where by the way Easyjet dont fly to) we met Fran and Stephanie who were on the rest of our flights to and from spain.
After a 2 hour flight and a litre of Vodka Spice Rum and Bailey\'s we got of the plane and into the spanish sunshine. ehr I think

Well the lassies were in a different hotel from us so we set of in taxi\'s to our hotel.Booked in and rooms set out I ended up with Holly

.Nothing much happened that day night apart from Owen pestering us to go to the rooftop pool.We were quite happy with our feet and pints on the ground. Well it was a late night early morning swally .

International gladiators were also in town that night.
I had met a couple of the contenders earlier much earlier .Owen and Wullie ,in the room were long round pillows all this meant one thing Contender Ready other Contender Ready Fight 3 AM in the morning and two fucking idiots battering fuck out of each other in a room down the corridor from us .

Well Me and Holly had conserved our energy nae sex. We had a wee bit of breakfast in the lounge come coffee bar come bar at 7AM .Yes sir two coffees for you and your friend \'naw wee man two beer infact two grande beer \' that was it me and my room mate had started the party .

We met the Ghirls and headed to meet the Salty for a lift doon to Villareal for the game.Now this is where the kind of blank I remember the party on the bus the party organised in Villareal and the march to the stadium but it all seems to have flown in.I lost our Owen at the end of the march.
I ended up with the flag and the bag I took it out and never seen it again By this time my phone was dead .Well at the end of the game I spot Spuds and Coleman They come down and we start looking for the flag .Every step in the section we were in and no fucking flag .Fuck its no as if you could use it as a bedspread .Well me and Spuds head out looking for the bus and end up going in the wrong direction.We turn back along where we came out of the stadium and there was Gemmell and his brother Andy carrying the flag and me with the empty bag Thank fuck me and Spuds said ,How the fuck do you tell someone youve lost a flag that size.

We get back on the bus and Holly tells us Pancho and Wullie have missed the bus.Spuds starts laughing and then ends up buckled when he finds out Wullie had been rushed to hospital with a bad back in an ambulance lights flashing siren on the lot and Pancho holding his wallet.
So Fran phones Wullie to see if he\'s alright and Owen says to her who are you talking to ?Wullie she tells him Whit the fuck did he phone you for, why did he no phone me ? He didnae I phoned him. He needs his holiday insurance for the hospital .
Well we all had seen it as he was holding up like the world cup saying I got this for me and her for Ł28 for a year.Well lets hope you dont need it.

We got back o our hotel and me and Holly set out for the bar.
Where the fuck are you going Owen shouts .
Where the fuck do you think we say
Our friends are dying and all you want is a pint ya pricks
Whos dying we say
He then turns and bangs into the lift door We sit down and the guys across from us say he\'s done it again .We look as he bounces of the doors again he then gets in and comes back down and says
I cannae get in the room they cunts have both got the room keys, We start pishing ourselves lets go to the desk .Anyone who knows Owen when he is abroad he talks to people in a fluent dutch accent YA YOU UNDERSTAND Well Owen starts asking the burd at the desk saying my friend is in hospital in Villareal ya can you call and see if he is ok
What room number is your friend in and I will call it
NoNo he is in hospital can you call and see if he is alright ya Meanwhile me and Holly are looking out the Vander Valk CD in the juke box
I say to Owen why dont you phone him you both have moblies
I never thought of that
Ask him if he needs us to fax the insurance document down
Well Wullie was okay and Owens saying he willl come down and get him in a Taxi
I told him there was no point in it as they would get a taxi back up and there was nothing we could do until they got here .

Next day we managed to get Rigsby out of his bed and into the bar Well Wullie didnt fancy going out so wewent into town and met the wimmin loads of beers and a steak later, We headed back to see Wullie in taxis to our hotel. In my taxi I had Fran Steff and Holly I cannae get rid of the cunt.During the taxi ride we had a wee sing song.We love you We love you etc etc windows down rocking side to side Oh oh ooh oh.
I am sitting in the passenger seat and Fran leans over Wully I hate they bastards they get right in yir face the cunts am fuckin tellin yi thur scummy basturds
The taxi driver then turns to me and says does your friend not speak english to which we all burst out laughing. We end up getting stuck at a set of lights and the driver nudges me and Goes Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh WE love you we love you and thats the way we like it
It was one of they ones you had to be there to appreciate it.Steff turns roon to Fran and tells here that the taxi driver is better at english than her
Back at the hotel we watch the fitba, last to about midnight and head to bed for the early flights home

It may have been an early flight for some But when Me and Holly got up I could\'nt find my passport he said his was in his jeans I turn the place upside doon looking for mine but to no avail Holly gets up and cant find his now its a panic We must have handed the over at the desk when we booked in We check out at the desk and tell them our passports have been stolen They deny all knowledge and send us to the passport office at a police station.The rest of the crew go for their flights and we are filling in forms trying to get home .While in the office waiting for clearance a policeman comes out and says a passport had been found in the hotel and gave me some paperwork for Holly to travel ,We make our way back to the hotel and I sit in the taxi holly comes back and says theyre both there .She sai they found them in the bar underneath the telly eleven floors from where they were last left .Someone had tried to slit the side of the page where my photos was in my passport .Fuck if they wanted a photo of me I would have taken one with them and autographed it for them.

Well we made it back minus a bottle of Vodka that we drank that was meant to be for Steff\'s gran by fuck that women must have a drink problem as she had a bottle of gin too.

So thank you for everyone who took partin our little escapade and it wont be long untill we do it all again
Wullie did you njoy the DVD we got You
Brokeback Mountain we heard it was your favourite

Hail Hail Wully
HERE WE GO THE GARRYOWEN

Win Ł3000 to spend on whatever you want at Uni! Click here to WIN!');